Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Thursday, October 3, 2013

What if My Healing Comes Through Tears?

It's unusual for me to have the radio completely off, but I had 4 children in the car yesterday and for reasons I'm sure that I don't need to explain, I turned it off.  I turned it back on on the way home from the gym this morning and the song that was playing was just what I needed to hear after being reminded for an entire hour of what was missing right now.  I had only returned to the gym this week so the last time I was there I was still pregnant.  It might seem silly, but I often have the thought, "Oh, the last time I was here, my baby was with  me."  Simple thought, but reality.  I'm sure it's a common thought of anyone who has recently lost a loved one.  When you walk into a room though and suddenly there are 3 pregnant women, 2 of which the last time I had seen them they weren't showing, it was a reminder that I would've been getting the "pregnant pudge" soon.  It's one of those few times at the gym that it's okay to be fat & you don't have to worry about sucking in your gut!  :)  I fought the whole time to keep my emotions neutral and tried to take my hurt/anger and put it into more energy for working out.

We have lived the truth of this song on more than one occasion and it's just another reminder that God is working in our family.  A verse that I have grown particularly fond of over the past couple of weeks is Genesis 41:52.  "It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering."

Lord, may every tear that falls be watering the seeds of your glory that you are planting in not only our lives, but for everyone you will touch with our baby's life.

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